Just another brief update. I apologize for not going to the beach yet. I've been very distracted by Trent and Lydia's lack of contact. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is happening to one of them, maybe both. I feel so alone right now. I can't do this, I know I can't help. My heart wants to rip itself from my chest in desperation and I realize that this is what all of this is about. I want to rip myself out of a scenario that doesn't make sense, a nightmare that's haunting me. I want to escape the fact that there is a killer in my community and that the victim was an awful lot like me and that I have no network, nobody to account for me and protect me, even my own cousin on the police force won't help. I thought "Oh maybe if I solve this I won't be the perfect victim anymore" but that's no good because now Lydia's missing and Trent's gone and god knows who else might be killed because I was SELFISH.
KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL. ME. KILLME KILL ME KILL. ME.
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