Sorry Y'all

 Just another brief update.  I apologize for not going to the beach yet.  I've been very distracted by Trent and Lydia's lack of contact.  I can't shake the feeling that something bad is happening to one of them, maybe both.  I feel so alone right now.  I can't do this, I know I can't help.  My heart wants to rip itself from my chest in desperation and I realize that this is what all of this is about.  I want to rip myself out of a scenario that doesn't make sense, a nightmare that's haunting me.  I want to escape the fact that there is a killer in my community and that the victim was an awful lot like me and that I have no network, nobody to account for me and protect me, even my own cousin on the police force won't help.  I thought "Oh maybe if I solve this I won't be the perfect victim anymore" but that's no good because now Lydia's missing and Trent's gone and god knows who else might be killed because I was SELFISH.

KILL ME.  KILL ME.  KILL. ME.  KILLME KILL ME KILL. ME.